Have you tied the wedding knot recently? Do you find yourself caught up in an emotional trauma? Does reality seem to hit you that married life is not after all that puppy love that you assumed it to be? Well you are sailing in the same boat as many newly-wed couples. Before you conclude anything by just stepping into the water you ought to swim and experience the depth and wonders of this mighty ocean of marriage.
Cosmos conspires to drive you only towards the positive side of things.Yet many of you would be beset with the notion that fate has played cruel games only with you and not with any other soul . So firstly, accept the fact that no marriage is devoid of problems. It is just that one should be given the time and space to accept a total stranger for life-time. Remember, your partner also deserves the same. If you end up with a difference of opinion which could by all means lead to a feud, there are ways to tackle it. Try to put forth your view in a subtle and polite manner. Never , vent out your anger or even show the slightest presence of it.If you lose in the argument ,accept your partner’s views open heartedly. Never hesitate to apologize even if you weren’t wrong.Lastly,never get dejected over silly quarrels and instead spend some time and think about the happy moments you have shared. A flip through your wedding or honey-moon photographs could revive you.
Certain minute gestures and actions could go a long way to build a fruitful relationship. Try to gauge the likes and dislikes of your partner. Never forget to commemorate occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. At this point I would like to make something very clear. There maybe few who would argue saying that a failure to wish or gift on such occasions is not necessarily an indication of lack of love. Yes, definitely it is not , but the happiness of being remembered is far fetched than the ignominy of being forgotten.
Try and reciprocate as much as possible. For eg: if your partner agrees to come with you to a movie he/she least likes, it automatically follows that he/she would expect you also to accept some of her likes which might not be your cup of tea. Please make a note, women normally expect this kind of behavior from their hubbies but very few of them really care to do it.
Its high time you realize that marriage doesn’t require two people who are naturally compatible. All it needs is just a little bit of thought process and reasoning time and again to cement the relationship.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Want to become an IAS officer?
It is that time of the year again! The Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) is about to declare the results of the prestigious Civil Services Examination. Nearly 2000 souls would be anxiously awaiting the results. Roughly, a third of those who attended the interview will get a service - IAS, IPS, IFS, IRS, ....
While the lucky ones among the 2000 will get the opportunity for a life-long, glorious career in the Civil Services with a magic wand on hand to serve the people, the poor ones who lose selection will remain shattered, at least for a few months. While the lucky ones will give interview to the press quoting adages - 'there is no substitute for hard work', 'determination, hard work and persistence got me the success' etc., the not-so-lucky ones will look back their days of hard work - nearly a year of dedicated preparation for the Prelims, three-month long anxious wait for the results, brief celebrations for success in Prelims, taxing preparations for the Mains, again a four month long painful wait for the results, joyous celebrations for success in Mains, careful preparations for the interview, tips from elders based on bundles of legends on IAS interview ("one time they asked how many steps one passed to reach the interview hall"), eventful days of stay in their respective state Government Guest Houses in New Delhi, tense moments of facing the interview board in the Dholpur House, analyzing the responses for the questions triggered by the smart members of the board during the casual interaction called 'interview', week-long wait for the interview results - and finally the agonising results!
While the friends and relatives of those who got selected will get a great reason to celebrate the success of their dear ones, a pall of gloom will descend on the families of those poor ones who fail to make it to the IAS.
A pall of gloom descended on my family - not once, but twice - in 2001 and 2007 when I failed to get through. It was my childhood ambition to become an IAS officer. I did work diligently towards that goal; showed promising progress; carried the hopes and aspirations of my family members; yet failed to deliver! When the results were out, I could only say 'so near, yet so far!'. Silently, I became one among the lakhs in the country who wanted to become IAS, but could not!
For me, Civil Services preparation had been a part-time activity. Though I started ground-works for my preparation during my college days as a Mechanical Engineering student, I prepared full-time for the exam only during my first attempt at Civil Services Examination. Thereafter, it became a part-time activity. Exactly seven years ago, after failing to make it to the IAS, I joined a top software company at Chennai in May 2001 and have been working there eversince.
I kept preparing part-time, but could not become an IAS as I dreamt. The dreams came to a halt with last years's results. Years of hard work did not bear any fruit in my case. IAS dream remains a scar even now, but I am getting on with my profession.
CSE 2008 results are about to be declared. Though I am not a candidate, many of my friends have attended the interview. A close friend who has made his final attempt is anxiously awaiting the results. I am also anxious along with him. He has kept preparing for the examination for the past nine years with single-minded devotion. Hard work and persistence should pay him off in a big way and he should land in the elite IAS. I am praying for him now.
For those of you who are lucky enough to get a service - my best wishes for a bright career. As the saying goes, in Civil Services, the real test of excellence starts only after success in the IAS examination. From the day of the result, you are becoming a member of the steelframe of the nation. You have got the rare opportunity to the serve the poor and needy. Measure up to their expectations.
For those of you of my ilk who fail to make it: Keep in mind the golden saying - we can only deserve success, can never ensure success. Analyze honestly and think if you really deserve success. If so, go back to the above line and read the adage again. If you have more attempts left, prepare yourself for yet another sincere attempt. Otherwise, do not waste time on brooding over the past. Get on with life. There are lot of wonderul things in life than IAS!
For those of you who are going to make an attempt at the Civil Services Examination: I am not qualified to prescribe the recipe for success as I have not tasted success. But, I can definitely tell you about what not to do. I know the recipe for failure. In my next post, I will dwell on the things to avoid, practices that should not be followed etc..
While the lucky ones among the 2000 will get the opportunity for a life-long, glorious career in the Civil Services with a magic wand on hand to serve the people, the poor ones who lose selection will remain shattered, at least for a few months. While the lucky ones will give interview to the press quoting adages - 'there is no substitute for hard work', 'determination, hard work and persistence got me the success' etc., the not-so-lucky ones will look back their days of hard work - nearly a year of dedicated preparation for the Prelims, three-month long anxious wait for the results, brief celebrations for success in Prelims, taxing preparations for the Mains, again a four month long painful wait for the results, joyous celebrations for success in Mains, careful preparations for the interview, tips from elders based on bundles of legends on IAS interview ("one time they asked how many steps one passed to reach the interview hall"), eventful days of stay in their respective state Government Guest Houses in New Delhi, tense moments of facing the interview board in the Dholpur House, analyzing the responses for the questions triggered by the smart members of the board during the casual interaction called 'interview', week-long wait for the interview results - and finally the agonising results!
While the friends and relatives of those who got selected will get a great reason to celebrate the success of their dear ones, a pall of gloom will descend on the families of those poor ones who fail to make it to the IAS.
A pall of gloom descended on my family - not once, but twice - in 2001 and 2007 when I failed to get through. It was my childhood ambition to become an IAS officer. I did work diligently towards that goal; showed promising progress; carried the hopes and aspirations of my family members; yet failed to deliver! When the results were out, I could only say 'so near, yet so far!'. Silently, I became one among the lakhs in the country who wanted to become IAS, but could not!
For me, Civil Services preparation had been a part-time activity. Though I started ground-works for my preparation during my college days as a Mechanical Engineering student, I prepared full-time for the exam only during my first attempt at Civil Services Examination. Thereafter, it became a part-time activity. Exactly seven years ago, after failing to make it to the IAS, I joined a top software company at Chennai in May 2001 and have been working there eversince.
I kept preparing part-time, but could not become an IAS as I dreamt. The dreams came to a halt with last years's results. Years of hard work did not bear any fruit in my case. IAS dream remains a scar even now, but I am getting on with my profession.
CSE 2008 results are about to be declared. Though I am not a candidate, many of my friends have attended the interview. A close friend who has made his final attempt is anxiously awaiting the results. I am also anxious along with him. He has kept preparing for the examination for the past nine years with single-minded devotion. Hard work and persistence should pay him off in a big way and he should land in the elite IAS. I am praying for him now.
For those of you who are lucky enough to get a service - my best wishes for a bright career. As the saying goes, in Civil Services, the real test of excellence starts only after success in the IAS examination. From the day of the result, you are becoming a member of the steelframe of the nation. You have got the rare opportunity to the serve the poor and needy. Measure up to their expectations.
For those of you of my ilk who fail to make it: Keep in mind the golden saying - we can only deserve success, can never ensure success. Analyze honestly and think if you really deserve success. If so, go back to the above line and read the adage again. If you have more attempts left, prepare yourself for yet another sincere attempt. Otherwise, do not waste time on brooding over the past. Get on with life. There are lot of wonderul things in life than IAS!
For those of you who are going to make an attempt at the Civil Services Examination: I am not qualified to prescribe the recipe for success as I have not tasted success. But, I can definitely tell you about what not to do. I know the recipe for failure. In my next post, I will dwell on the things to avoid, practices that should not be followed etc..
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